I have been praying for something for a long time.
I have been asking God for something for a long time.
I have been working towards that goal, that dream of mine, for a long time.
Three weeks, for the third time getting this close to that dream, the door was quietly shut.
And God said, no.
I don't mind telling you about the dream of mine.
It was to have my artwork licensed.
I've dreamed of walking into Hallmark or a specialty gift shop and see my artwork as greeting cards, home decor, stationary, plaques, etc.
I have worked very hard to reach that goal, like I've said.
I've spent a lot of time and money traveling, working, trying to fit myself in...
I kind of had my whole self-image as an artist wrapped up in that scheme.
It was kind of like I had told myself, "as soon as you are licensed THEN you will really be an artist".
It has taken me over five years to call bullsh*t on that way of thinking.
This time when God said no, I got it.
I already am who i am. I am an artist already.
I am an artist because God gave me the desire, the passion, the ability to create.
Whether or not anyone buys my art.
Whether I have 1000 sales in my etsy shop or 0.
Whether or not a large company wants to manufacture my work and sell it all over the world.
I am an artist.
Today I have a new prayer.
"God, please help me be authentic.
Please help me be real.
Please let me make my art in a way that pleases you.
In a way that serves you.
In a way that allows me to follow your path, whatever way that path leads.
Please help me listen carefully to your truth.
Please help me seperate my ego from your voice."
It's a new truth for me.
And it feels really good to let go.
Because when you are dreaming of something, and it doesn't feel good, or right anymore, I think maybe it's God way of telling you to let go.
Have a beautiful weekend, my friends.
See you on Monday.
Oh! and the print is now available here:)