Truth be Told

It is Sunday evening and I just got all my children down for bed.

We had a nice day at the beach today.

Would you like to hear a little story of mine?

I realized today that my two year is my last baby.  At least the last one I will carry in my belly.  I am done with pregnancy.  In a way it is a little liberating, knowing the impending freedom I will gain as he gets older.  But in another way, it is a little sad.  I loooooooooove babies.  I loved all my babies so much.  Of course I still love them, :), but there is something about babies that makes me melt.

I am super blessed to have had four of my own.  About 7 years ago I was surprized with a cyst about the size of a grapefruit on my right ovary.  When I went in for surgery, they found that my ovary was encapsulated inside the cyst, and they took the ovary out with the cyst.  It was also discovered that I had a severe case of endometriosis.

My doctor told me that I had about an 8-10% chance of conceiving another child.  At the time my oldest was four.  I wasn't exactly heartbroken, because I felt I was lucky to at least have one.

But God had other plans for me, because three months later I was pregnant.  I ended up having three more children in five years.

I used to feel a little guilty about being so fertile.  There are so many women in the world who cannot conceive.  So many women who would make excellent mothers.  If you are one of them, I just want you to know that I do pray for you.  I pray that one day you will have a child.  I pray even harder that you will find peace in whatever happens.  Because I know that God has your life, your destiny, in his hands.

Truth be told, I never planned on having such a large family.
But I am grateful and humbled that I am the mother that God intended me to be.
I realize that I am blessed beyond belief.  It is my goal to never, ever forget that.