Practicing Grace with myself...

I've been feeling a little unsettled lately.
Nothing's wrong, neccessarily, but just a tiny nagging feeling that something isn't right.

Found here

Turns out I realized today my life is way out of balance.
I have a lingering problem with balance...I have a hard time saying no.
I have too many projects going on.
I've been obsessed with working and my emails and my stupid iphone.
I let the house get out of control and then I'm paralyzed and don't know where to start.
I won't go to the gym because I have too much work to do.
I catch myself saying no to the kids more often than I'm saying yes.
I haven't read a book in a long, long, time.
I fall asleep at 8:30 because I'm so exhausted, which leaves little time for my hubs.
I find myself ordering pizza, microwaving chicken nuggets, and throwing some apples or carrots on the plate so I don't feel like a bad mom.

Does any of this sound vaguely familiar?

credit here

Today I sloughed off work.
I cleaned all the kids rooms, went through their clothes and undies and pj's.  Made a huge bag for Goodwill and a list of things to keep an eye out for to prepare for cooler weather.
I made some necessary flu shot appointments, washed bedding, did laundry, organized paper work, and I allowed myself to enjoy it all.
I spent a little time on the computer looking at possible Christmas presents for the kids, and that was really fun!
I'm hoping tomorrow after a dentist appointment I will feel up to get a much needed mani,pedi, and eyebrow wax.
I need to allow myself to take care of myself!  That sounds so crazy to write, but I find myself lacking in that area!

Sometimes I forget that ultimately God is in control.
I find myself trying to take the drivers seat...ha!  We all know that doesn't work.
I need surrender to Him.
I'm tired of trying so hard, when all He wants me to do is just BE.

originated here

Did you read all that?

I am so guilty of being the woman on the left.

I'm so grateful to have a fresh start again tomorrow, to practice grace with myself...

Oh, the glory of a new day!  :)

Preparing for Easter

These few days leading up to Easter have left me feeling in a very fragile and vulnerable state.  I remember feeling this way last year too...the weight of my sins feeling heavy in my soul...the remembrance of my Father who forgives me and loves me unconditionally...the thought of Jesus on the cross...trying to instill in my kids the true meaning of Easter while still enjoying the bunnies and candy and excitement of it all...

It can get overwhelming, all these feelings.  But if nothing else I believe it all prepares me for the celebration of Easter...

 Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.”

John 2:19 ESV

 I have been faithfully doing my spring cleaning and 40 bags in 40 days challenge.  I took photos of the process, but then decided that I didn't really need to show you the pictures. ha!  I will tell you this...I had more than 40 bags!  I kind of pride myself on keeping our house basically clutter-free...over the last couple of years I have been more concious and aware of what I buy...really contemplating my wants vs. my needs...trying to teach our children the same...and yet my garage is FULL, full of all the things that we no longer want or need, and I realize I have a long way to go in regards to being more concious in that aspect...

I am guilty of wanting more...a bigger house, a newer couch, more land, more fashionable clothes...the list goes on and on...and while I don't think there is anything inherently wrong at all with having nice things, I must learn to be happy and content with what we DO have.  Which is a lot in the grand scheme of things...  I just haven't quite mastered that balance yet.



And so I surrender to our Father, that He will accept me as I try to be the best wife and mother and daughter that I can be.  That I learn to give more and more, that I learn to give unselfishly, that I try to stay true to the simple lifestyle that best fits myself and my family.  I surrender to all the mistakes that I have made, make now, and will make in the future.  I surrender to the fact that He loves me no matter what.  What a gift He has given us, and it takes a whole lot of heart, a whole lot of faith, to accept that gift.  It can bring me to my knees.